How to: Decline an Invitation


Dakota Clark

Invitation anticipation anxiety, our list of how to get out of it:

People invite you to things. Whether you’re in the “popular” crowd or not, you get invited to lunches, hangouts, dates, and everything in between. Sometimes, you are invited to events that you wish not to attend, however, remember you don’t have to say yes! Saying no to invitations is often feared as being rude, but in reality, it is very necessary to do, so just stay home! Or do something more interesting. Call up that one friend who is always having a good time (the one that your parents hate). You might be overwhelmed by trying to get out of this invitation. Here are some techniques and ways to ensure you will not have to attend that annoying aunt’s baby shower or stand in the stench of an unshowered teenage boy at your local Friday night lights game. 

You don’t want to hang out? Do this and you’ll get out of it. 

  1. Leave them on read.
  2. Absolute isolation in your room under the blankets with your stuffed elephant that’s missing an eye.
  3. Act like Dracula.
  4. Buy a goat and then have to take care of it.
  5. Say you hate that thing, giving reasons why overwhelming them with nonsense so they leave you alone.
  6. Take up baking.
  7. Have a haircut that day.
  8. Take care of your grandpa, then give too much information about his skin disorder.
  9. “I have Covid”.
  10. Pregnancy scare.
  11. Pretend you can’t hear them (in person only).
  12. Tell them you’re a Kanye West fan, then they will want nothing to do with you.
  13. Fake cry, say you’re beyond honored to have received this invitation, and ask what species of sacrificial animal they find most compelling. 
  14. Tell them you don’t go out with people who look like Mr. Hankey from South Park.
  15. “Only if your mom talks to my mom and she says yes”.
  16. Working on your minesweeper skills.
  17. College applications.
  18. You started a new hobby curing cheese, which you have to attend to.
  19. You have a phobia of whatever the situation is.
  20. You watched a horror movie. Now you’re scared to leave the house.
  21. You have to watch the new episode of Yellowstone.
  22. It’s the end of the world.
  23. No clean clothes.
  24. Got bit by a really big mosquito.
  25. Can’t dirty the kicks.
  26. Ask if you can drive. (Bonus points if you don’t have a license).
  27. Wear a cape and talk like batman.
  28. Situationship troubles.
  29. You’re mourning a celebrity death.
  30. Your stuffed elephant that’s missing an eye went missing.
  31. Taylor Swift released a new album.
  32. Starbucks stopped making Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
  33. The Nipomo skate park opened.
  34. You went to the Nipomo skate park and you face planted.
  35. You’re taking a psychology class and today’s lesson hit too close to home.